The friend who caused some serious emotional damage contacted me and what she said was shocking!

My friend who caused some serious emotional damage contacted me and what she said was shocking!

As some of you know my blog exists because most all my friends were very negative and I needed a support group that was positive and supportive of my goals.  Having negative friends can make you feel depressed and affect you in more ways than you realize. One friend, in particular, stands out because we fought almost every day and sometimes she made me cry and despite all the damage she caused she never seemed to notice or care.  When your friends don’t notice you are struggling emotionally that is when it is time to go your separate ways and that is what we decided to do. My friend felt that same way up until recently when I got the most hateful message I have ever heard in my entire life. I was being accused of doing things she doesn’t even know I did and the thought that someone would even think I would do these things hurts.  I don’t usually like to talk too much about my personal life but  I was kind of angry and wanted to teach you guys a lesson to help you from making the same mistake.

Let’s begin by talking about what exactly did happen? My friend called me on Tuesday but I was not available so she left me a lovely voicemail saying that I plotted against her and I was responsible for all of her friends not wanting to talk to her anymore. Wait what? Don’t put that burden on me because although we may have our differences and a lot of the same friends I don’t care enough that I would go out of my way to try and make it so you don’t have friends. They made that decision on their own and I had nothing to do with it!  I have better uses for my time than to go around destroying friendships and I would never do such a thing! Did the thought ever occur to you that just maybe there could be another reason that those friendships didn’t work out?  I don’t even call my sisters on the phone without a reason because of my anxiety and if you think that I would go around contacting a bunch of strangers if I didn’t have to then you don’t know me very well!

Why am I telling you this?– I didn’t write this post because I wanted to vent about all my personal problems but I actually contemplated writing this at all. Then I decided this experience can be turned into an important lesson that we all can learn from. Listen and communicate your feelings with your friends! It is okay to be angry but it is not okay to make crazy accusations of someone and then give them a bogus phone number so they can’t contact you and explain themselves. Friendships work by talking to each other so if you are trying to make things work don’t make the conversation starter all the other person’s faults it won’t go over well!

Some people change but some people don’t and sometimes when things go south that person that you no longer are friends with you may very well have been close at one time. Let it go you will find new friends that you would much rather hang out with.  It took me a while to wrap my head around this because I had negative friends for so long that I felt I could not let go of or I would be alone but then I realized one thing I am not alone! I have a very supportive family and now a community that encourages me. Not all people have this but I am fortunate that I am surrounded by such positive people.

What did I do about it?- The first thing you want to do is ignore it and then block them from your phone and all your social media. Engaging with hateful messages like this is not worth your time and will only make you madder so as tempting as it may be to give someone a piece of your mind don’t engage! More often than not these people are just looking for a reaction and when you call them infuriated you are giving them the attention they want. You will have more of an effect on somebody if you just ignore it and don’t give them the reaction they are looking for.

Remember you cannot control somebody else’s’ actions you can only control your own. People will say hurtful things and as much as you may want to strangle them all you can do is make sure you don’t make that same mistake and make someone else feel that same way!

 

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